this is not helping...

If I could, I would have a baby tomorrow. I would bring home a stranger's baby and love it and raise it as my own. But that's not happenening, and I'm ok with that. Ok, I'm dealing with it. But this doesn't help. The tiny little face, the miniscule hands and feet, and the almost non-existent little finger nails. It also doesn't help that everybody I know is pregnant. It sounds like I'm bitter, but I'm not. I'm not upset about people having babies, I would never hope for other's pain. But I wish I could join in with the baby having. I want Aiden to have a little sister. Or a brother. I don't really care.

Anyway. This precious little thing was born last Thursday, the 24th. She was born via c-section, so she had that perfect round little head. Aiden was SO excited to go see her, he asked-no, begged-all day Thursday and Friday if we could pleeeease go to aunt Brittney's house to see baby Kaitlynn. He acted a little wierd around her, as in he didn't like to hold her or kiss her, but he loved to look at her and talk about her.

They pretty much forced me to hold her, and wouldn't take no for an answer. Well, alright, I pretty much was a baby hog, and held her every chance I could. Don't I look good with a baby in my arms? I was totally made to hold babies. Even this made me want a baby more. The tiny little baby screams just made my heart hurt! Isn't she so stinking cute?

I just can't deal with this. I need some kind of therapy. I think weekly sessions with this little one would go a long way toward helping. Brittney, can we work something out?